Day 49: Eyes on the Prize

My eyes are on the prize... you want to see it? This is a picture of me in July of 1996 outside the NASA space museum in Alamagordo, New Mexico. My weight was down from living on my own for the first time, lots of theater, loss of appetite after a bade break up... I looked great. No really, it's the best I have ever looked. Of course, the minute I got happy a ballooned again. But here it is... and I make no apologies for the fun hat...



Today was a good day. I worked out this morning. Made fairly decent choices about what I ate, even though there was a box of Krispy Kremes staring me in the face all day. I have discovered the wonder of No Sugar Added Swiss Miss... yay!!! 50 calories, chocolatey and perfect when the midafternoon munchies hit. AND I walked this evening with Danny. Millie bought a pedometer so I know exactly how far I went. 1.3 miles.

So... about yesterday. Sorry. I guess. I want to be honest in this blog and that's exactly what I was feeling. I know it sounded self pitying and weak, and truthfully, I have to accept that. To force my body back to something it was 9 years ago, it really is a struggle. And I need to ride out the waves as well as the still waters. If I don't, I will fail.

I don't want to fail. I have no intention of failing. I want people at the January meeting in Arizona to not recognize me. I want to stop being embarrassed to get on stage and do what I love. I... ah shit... I've been over this. What I really want is for women to long for me when I'm washing the car... or you know, carrying orphans from a fire or... bailing hay or fixing a tire... Let's be honest shall we.

It won't happen, but it's fun to dream. Until my wife slaps me in the head because I have that goofy grin on my sleeping face. I hate when she does that.

Eyes on the prize...