Monday, August 29, 2005

Day 63: Angst in the Afternoon

Over two months now. I'm sorry it's been a few days since I checked in. Part of the problem is I don't feel like I'm doing anything worth reporting. I'm still eating fairly well, but how is that news worthy. Actually Saturday was another huge family thing that saw me popping a few things in my mouth that I shouldn't. The worst being cigarettes. I'm not eating cigarettes. Here I am on the cusp of my two year anniversary of quitting smoking and I'm smoking a bit... a little more than a bit... not that much... but enough to cause concern.

So this activity has caused a break down in everything. Like I said, I'm still eating healthy and keeping my calories low, I just feel, I guess ashamed is the only word I can think of. How can I possibly be doing an ything good if I'm doing this bad thing again? You know?

Sorry to sound pitiful and sorry for myself. I'm not. I got a lot of nice compliments on how I'm looking and I jsut stood there feeling like a liar. Which I'm not. But I am, just not about that... confused?

Imagine where I am at.

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